Never Underestimate a Pumpkin

It’s technically only a squash, but every year it commissions the season’s most demanding project.

Black-and-white photo of a pumpkin with a face drawn on in orange and a speech bubble saying, “All I’m asking for is something fun!”

The deadline is the evening of the 31st, no extensions. The client is round, orange, and has a very clear idea of what he wants, which he communicates by sitting there and saying nothing at all. (To be fair, he doesn’t have a mouth yet.) The budget is one serrated knife and a soup spoon, which is why the scooping takes forever. And every October, millions of us spread newspaper over the kitchen table and take the job anyway.

We call it carving a pumpkin. Really, it’s a design problem with seeds in it. Consider this the project review.

Clarifying the Brief

A successful project starts with understanding the client’s needs, so the first step is to look at every angle. The slight tilt to one side might be a flaw, or it might be personality. The scar near the stem might be something to hide, or something to build around. And most importantly, what’s the mood he’s going for? Scary? Friendly? A cat? A cat that is also scary?

His shape usually has an answer. A tall, narrow pumpkin could be a ghost. A short, squat one could be a grumpy monster. A big, warty one has clearly wanted to be a witch since it was a seed. So by the time I pick up the knife, I’ve studied his height, his posture, his scar, and his lifelong ambitions. Every possibility is open. 

And then, after careful consideration, I arrive at a groundbreaking concept: triangles. (In my defense, a kitchen knife really only does straight lines.)

Working With Negative Space

You don’t give a pumpkin a face so much as take one out of him. Every eye, nose, and tooth is a piece of pumpkin that isn’t there anymore. The face isn’t the orange part. The face is the hole.

Which means the eyes matter less than the space between them. Cut two triangles too close together, and the pumpkin looks permanently surprised. Too far apart, and he’s watching two tennis matches at once. Set one a little crooked, and he’s just remembered he left the stove on. Whatever expression you give him, he commits to it completely. And there’s no undo: whatever comes out of the pumpkin isn’t going back in.

Designing for the End User

No one will ever see this pumpkin the way you see it now. They’ll see it at night, from the sidewalk or the window, for about four seconds, possibly while dressed as a dinosaur.

In daylight, a carved pumpkin isn’t much to look at. It’s the candle that makes it work: bright holes against a dark shell, and from the street, that contrast is all anyone sees. Bold shapes carry. Fine detail doesn’t. The delicate spiderweb that took forty minutes to cut reads, from twenty feet away, as a slightly blurry orange patch. Triangles, on the other hand… well, they’re a classic for a reason.

Structural Considerations

Every design has a load-bearing element, and on a pumpkin, it’s usually the smallest piece of orange left standing. The thin strip between an eye and an eyebrow. The narrow bridge keeping the nose from merging with the mouth. The single tooth holding up the entire grin. Cut through one, and the whole thing gives way. 

Nobody learns this the easy way. It usually happens around 9 pm, after one confident slice too many. A grin that was balanced a moment ago loses three teeth at once and collapses into a gaping grimace. The official term is structural failure. The unofficial term is unprintable.

Final Delivery

On the evening of the 31st, the project ships. Once the candle is lit, he heads out into the night to meet his public, a little lopsided, but right on deadline.

Back in the kitchen, on a pile of soggy newspaper, the seeds are under review. Someone proposes roasting them, and the proposal is tabled indefinitely.

The client feedback, however, has been overwhelmingly positive. He’s glowing.

I'm putting my feet up and solving a sudoku

solve

Daily Sudoku Monday 26 October 2026

165
78
589763
423
635891
972
953172
82916
1738
438
26
68912
45
4281
724
3691
7512
873
9281
293
16
852
24
987
51873
81
4
8
31
783
4579
956
872
754
56429
83
938
729
45
82956
2
162
176
6458
287

Related products

Blissful Innocence
€ 120

Blissful Innocence

Blissful Innocence

€ 120
Disarmingly Generous
€ 24

Disarmingly Generous

Disarmingly Generous

€ 24
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mini
€ 24

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mini

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mini

€ 24
Finding Frank and his Friend
€ 48

Finding Frank and his Friend

Finding Frank and his Friend

€ 48